Top 35 Self-Reflective Questions to Identify Perfectionism and People-Pleasing Tendencies

Understanding whether you have tendencies toward perfectionism or people-pleasing involves introspection and self-awareness. Asking yourself specific questions can help you identify these traits and understand their impact on your life. Here are 35 self-reflective questions designed to uncover perfectionist and people-pleasing behaviors.

Perfection is the enemy of Progress. Its perfectly okay to have mistakes at times, yet learn from it.

Top 35 Self-Reflective Questions to Identify Perfectionism and People-Pleasing Tendencies

Set A: Identifying Perfectionism

1. Do I set excessively high standards for myself?
2. How do I feel when I don’t achieve my goals perfectly?
3. Do I often experience anxiety or stress about meeting my standards?
4. Do I avoid starting tasks because I fear they won’t be perfect?
5. Do I frequently focus on the flaws or mistakes in my work?
6. Am I overly critical of myself when I don’t meet my expectations?
7. Do I compare my achievements to those of others?
8. Do I feel that nothing I do is ever good enough?
9. Do I spend an excessive amount of time refining or perfecting tasks?
10. Do I struggle to delegate tasks because I doubt others’ abilities?
11. Do I often experience procrastination due to fear of not achieving perfection?
12. Do I feel a sense of failure when I make minor errors?
13. Do I avoid taking on new challenges because I fear falling short of perfection?
14. Do I find it difficult to celebrate my accomplishments unless they are flawless?
15. Do I have trouble accepting constructive criticism from others?

Set B: Identifying People-Pleasing

16. Do I often prioritize others’ needs over my own?
17. Do I feel uncomfortable saying “no” to requests, even when I’m overburdened?
18. Do I frequently seek validation or approval from others?
19. Do I change my behavior or opinions to fit in with others?
20. Do I avoid conflicts at all costs, even if it means compromising my own values?
21. Do I feel anxious or stressed about what others think of me?
22. Do I go out of my way to make others happy, even at my own expense?
23. Do I worry excessively about disappointing others?
24. Do I often overcommit to activities or responsibilities to gain approval?
25. Do I feel resentful or unappreciated when my efforts to please others are not recognized?
26. Do I find it hard to express my true feelings or opinions to avoid upsetting others?
27. Do I feel obligated to make everyone around me happy, regardless of my own needs?
28. Do I often neglect my own well-being to meet others’ expectations?
29. Do I struggle to assert my own needs or desires in relationships?
30. Do I feel a need to be liked by everyone I interact with?
31. Do I experience guilt or regret when I choose to prioritize my own needs over others’?
32. Do I have difficulty setting boundaries with friends, family, or colleagues?
33. Do I try to fix or rescue others, even when they don’t ask for help?
34. Do I find myself constantly seeking reassurance from others about my decisions?
35. Do I feel a sense of worth tied to how much I can do for others?

Top 3 Resolutions on Helping Oneself Overcome Perfectionism and People Pleasing Tendencies

Set Realistic and Achievable Goals: Focus on setting specific, manageable goals instead of striving for perfection. Break larger tasks into smaller, actionable steps and celebrate progress along the way. This approach reduces the pressure of unrealistic standards and helps build confidence through incremental successes.

2. Practice Self-Compassion and Self-Acceptance: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, especially when you make mistakes. Recognize that imperfection is part of being human and practice self-acceptance. Use positive affirmations and remind yourself that your worth is not dependent on flawless performance or others’ approval.

3. Establish and Maintain Healthy Boundaries: Learn to assert your needs and limits clearly and respectfully. Prioritize your well-being by setting boundaries with others and practicing saying “no” when necessary. This helps prevent over commitment and ensures that you don’t neglect your own needs in the pursuit of pleasing others. And then treat yourself to some gelato toppled with fresh fruits, OR you can opt to have your fave tsokolate and a panna cotta.

Reflecting on Your 35 Self-Reflective Questions & Answers

• Patterns and Frequency: Reflect on your responses to these 35 questions. Do you notice recurring themes related to perfectionism or people-pleasing?
• Impact on Well-being: Consider how these tendencies affect your stress levels, relationships, and overall well-being.
• Areas for Improvement: Identify specific areas where you might benefit from making changes or seeking support.

These self-reflective questions can help you delve into your habits and behaviors. Recognizing perfectionist or people-pleasing tendencies is the first step toward addressing them and fostering a healthier, more balanced approach to life.